She couldn't believe that she was here again, close to daylight, surrounded by strangers, including the straight-laced jock beside her. She gazed pensively at her chewed up nails like a hooker at the bar but without the comfort of a glass of Jack. She didn't know how she got here, she rarely did. Nights like this normally ended up with some half-limp dick trying to prove he was the world's greatest fuck. They rarely were. Instead, like life, they left her unsatisfied and looking around for more.
The fluorescent light echoed around the room, bouncing off every flaw in the goddam place - she mustered up the effort to wonder what the lights were doing to her complexion. She sat for a moment, watching the promise of the waiter, his white coat masking his clumsiness as he wiped up the spilt milk. The jock beside her was rigid and stiff, balding head covered by a nasty hat, probably thinking of his wife. She could hear it now, it was pathetic, his mind clogging up with ethics and righteousness while his dick grew hard at the thought of teaching her a lesson once they finished their drink.
She had the sudden thought she could finish it now, run out into the street and away from this non-existence. But the dark night held no promise of redemption, no brightly lit cab to take her away, only shadows, cold and pervasive risk. Cold and dark outside, cold and stark inside. She felt transient in her own life, a charade. The jock gave her a nudge and flung some coins on the counter wordlessly. As she got up to put on her coat she felt a sudden, fleeting bout of nausea and disgust.
By the time he lead her to the doorway that bridged the light and dark, she felt nothing.
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