Wednesday, January 26, 2011
In one of my former reincarnations I was a police officer.
People look at me now - blubbering at ads on the telly (the fact that I use the word 'telly'), my forgetfulness, that I can't string a sentence together in front of anyone in any kind of authority, and probably my less than optimal body shape (what eva!) - and can't believe that at one stage I got in punch-ups, rescued people, told off truckies and helped at autopsies.
While most people would say it like this - "You were a police officer?" in a voice of amazement and admiration, I get "You were a police officer?" in a "you've got to be freaking joking!" kind of way.
Nonetheless naysayers - here is the photographic evidence.
When I look at this photo three things come to mind -
1: Shit I was skinny.
But then a teenage metabolism coupled with 3 weekly five k runs, the end of which generally involved some kind of spewing will do that to you. As I remember it, that skirt fitted me exactly for the five minutes after I left the academy and started eating half-price Maccas. It all went downhill from there.
2: Bloody hell, I was just a child.
I am sure I don't even have boobs yet. I certainly didn't have any life experience. You can see it in my eyes. While I thought I had seen the world - I had actually only seen Brisbane. Wynnum in fact. And a bit of New Zealand. And a large part of the Tasman Sea. Which hardly a world makes.
3: See the size of that hat? I needed a hat that big to fit my big head in. There was a lot of attitude to fit in that hat. When I look back... oh dear. It's a wonder I could hold my head up on that spindly neck, and probably explains why my vertebrae are now slowing crumbling like the Twelve (or is it now Eleven?) Apostles.
I think I have some stories to tell about this. But this is just a taster. Get used to the photo. Some stories about the adventures of Constable Jo Plod to come.